New Alphabetics: Month 4. Week 3

If you didn’t know? We’re in the midst of a major construction effort. We’re putting up 4 floor to ceiling bookcases and building a wall, to organize some of the stuff and (hopefully) get rid of the storage unit.

What’s been done:

The 2nd bookcase’s shell has been put together. The anchor strips for it are on the wall. The carpet has been cut. The bed has been moved down to make room for the construction efforts.

What needs to happen:

The bookcase needs to be anchored to the wall/ceiling. Two bookshelves need to be used so we can “see” which configuration of cases we like best: three to one side or the other or two on each side? We decided we liked 2 on each side.

The cost of sales tax if we go and retrieve the missing doors researched. It’s 6.25% or more.

When we tried to order the doors, they weren’t in stock and the system wouldn’t let us backorder them. The shipping fee is $200, not inconsequential! The stores where we could go and get them are both in sales tax states and  > 1 hour away.

I need to pick up the hangers for the porch stringers. We ordered the 2nd pair last week. After the bookcase/wall, this is probably the next job we’ll tackle. It’s much less involved, but requires work on a platform or ladder.

So, if it seems that the ALPHABETICS are being neglected? Yeah, they probably are.

Week 3 ALPHABETICS are:

Week 3

M/N

V/W/X

E/F

• I need to make another pass at culling/indexing the out Magazines and organizing the keeps! The indexes now have a home again, which they haven’t since last December! We removed furniture from the living room then, including the shelves these lived on. Since, they’ve been floating clutter. Not now! I quoted out a bunch of magazines to a customer. We’ll see what he says!
• No idea! None of my N entries appeal. I’ll find something to do and note it. New bookcases in the closet idea. We’re putting 2 small bookcases, previously made for the shop into our closets. Done!
• Vegetable garden. I need to plant plants and seeds as appropriate
• Weeding. Lots of this needs to happen! Every time I go out to work on the yard I pull some weeds!
• X Nothing here starts with X. I’ll find something to do. We’re cleaning/culling the luggage! Hasn’t been done, oh for years. Last time, I sold about 4 suitcases. We haven’t finished it yet, just got the small stuff. The bigger luggage and suitcases will be next time.
• Entry. I need to clean this and deal with whatever is cluttering it up, again!
• Filing. I need to spend more time catching up the filing system.

Many of these will take longer than the 15 minutes- 30 minutes I’m supposed to spend on each of the ALPHABETICS, the filing and weeding especially.

Two doors for the bookcases are out of their boxes, but not yet installed on the bookcase. The boxes have been added to the recycling bin.

Culls: 4 canisters, a rolling 3 drawer file, page protectors, papers, misc. books, magazines, printouts from printer tray, bag of old price tags, a duffel bag, a cosmetics bag, a purse, various travel bags. shelf riser for metal wire shelves, a sheet of insulation, snow removal thingy, 3 4 1/2boxes of old store stock, two small batches of books,

Found a New Home/Used: one “showcase” (bookcase purpose made to go to shows), tertiary file boxes, indexed clippings, clippings index, books, magazines, cat sculpture, galvanized saying. papers, OED, magazine files, a garment bag, a bicycle pannier, pathway grids, stone dust, clay particles, 2 bookcase doors,

20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 09 08 07 06 05 04 03 02 01 00

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DH and I had a discussion about how do we know that we’re done? I sent him this which is my definition of exactly that! He agreed that it works as a goal.

Giving Myself Grace

The older I get (I’m in my 60s) the more I realize that what I’ve done is pretty big, although it doesn’t show in the societal yardstick of money/status/power.

Once I made a list of my probable traumas. I ended up with about 30, before I was 20. And that’s only counting the day-to-day abuse as 1 item I think….  Some of those were completely out of my control, being 3 months premature, for example. Some were because of my lack of self-esteem and other positives, my first boyfriend, for example.

Given that, I didn’t get addicted to anything except reading. I became a hoarder. If you’d known me then, it would have seemed I had BPD (borderline personality disorder) or I was bi-polar.

But childhood trauma, BPD, etc. weren’t diagnosed in the 50s – 70s for children to young adults, so I stumbled along with traditional talk therapy and no accurate diagnosis until I was in my mid 40s.

It took me another 10 years plus to beat the demons down to where I could live without chronic emotional pain. Took another 10 years to write the memoir, frankly harder than living through the events the first time.

Here I am, in my 60s. Having always had a life goal (Don’t hurt, 1st. Write down what it was like/why, second.) I needed a new life goal. Getting rid of the extra stuff and dealing with the clutter is it.

This is complicated because the PTSD makes it that way. Because I can’t just decide to do something and do it.

But.

But? I’ve learned I need to love myself at least as much as I do others. I need to let myself falter, stumble and flat-out fail. That’s okay. I no longer have to be a beautiful genius who makes tons of money, and can do something right the first time I try —  to be a “success.”

I am a success. I’ve done something really hard. It took decades. Many people can’t do what I did, especially without diagnosis, effective therapy, or drugs. So, kudos to me and when I fuck up? Well, so what?

I want to declutter the house for a few reasons:

1. 1. Paying for the storage costs about what 3 weeks worth of groceries do. I’d rather eat well or pay off debt with the money.
   2. Dealing with the clutter/stuff is pretty much my full-time job. I’d like to get that down to 2-3 hours a day without guilt or ignoring an overwhelming set of undone tasks.
   3. The older I get, the harder it is to deal with the stuff. Hauling boxes of books around was pretty easy 40 years ago, not so much now.
   4. It’s the last vestige of the abuse and my overall life quest has been to remove the effects of that abuse. I want the abuser out of my life/head as much as I can. I can’t stop the PTSD or the changes to my brain, but I can try to limit how much it dictates my day-to-day life.
   5. I’d like to see if a decluttered life enables me to do things I never could? I’m curious. I’ve lived this way my entire life, how could I change?

These reasons are based on money, time, physical limitations, emotional healing and emotional growth. There isn’t really a downside to this, except it’s hard.

Well, what isn’t?

 

The New Idea: Week 2

Week 2:

Monday: T/U

Which is handy, because my big job today is to get the last data for our taxes! Of course, the decluttering that’s supposed to happen doesn’t pertain, but if I don’t get anything done other than the tax gather, I still will have done needed work!

Got most of the tax numbers done. However, this job is not quite complete, so it’s STILL on my list. I sent DH a note about some of this…

I will NOT count the time on my taxes in the tally below, even though I will use it as the T for this week!

Transit Bench – This is a DME piece from DH’s convalescence. It’s going in the attic. DH dismantled it at lunchtime so it isn’t so cumbersome! No time given. I didn’t do this, DH did! We may sell this at some point, but not yet. (Actual time 5 minutes.)

Umbrella Stand (that isn’t): I have a 2 bottle wine carrier next to the front door, where the umbrellas and canes go when they aren’t in use or stored otherwise. The task is to remove everything from it and dust it. (Estimated time 5 minutes.)

Not only did I do this as specified, but I removed everything from under the coat racks and swept before I replaced it. (10 minutes actually used)

Tuesday: C/D

Cake pans/Cabinet: The cabinet where I store my baking pans needs a clean & tidy. (Estimated time: 1 hour) Used 10 minutes tidying the cabinet. DH is using one of the pans. I will defer the cleaning until tomorrow when the pan can be put away.

Done Monday Mar. 16 — 15 minutes, used one piece of fabric as “shelf liner” under the plastic liner already in place.

DH has been on a baking spree. He made cornbread the other day, bread today, and is making a pizza blank for tonight’s dinner! It may be Sunday before I get all the pans back into the cabinet (maybe cull one or two?) and get it cleaned too!

I culled 10 pieces of clothing!

Culled 1 casserole dish: DH and I talked about it. It’s a Dansk kobenstyle pot with a lid. I love the looks of it, but it can’t be used for bread or for freezing casseroles, because it has a flared bottom. I have 2, and will keep the smaller one.

We need a small casserole/dutch oven with straight sides or flared at the top, so that things can be easily removed.

Detergents: I bought detergent on sale a couple of weeks ago. I have an extra bottle which needs to find a home and stop being floating clutter. (Estimated time 15 minutes or less.)

Rearranged the laundry room shelves. Removed the car wash bucket; it holds car washing supplies. Done! (Actual time: 20 minutes.)

Wednesday: K/L

Knitting: I have storage for my yarn. But, there are a few balls and skeins which need to be added. (Estimated time, 10 minutes or less.) (Actual time 7 minutes.)

Linen Closet: I replaced the flannel top sheet with a plain cotton one, the first seasonal this year. That means it’s time for a linen cabinet clean and tidy. (Estimated time, 20 minutes.)

Inside tidied, organized, cleaned, waxed and buffed. Completed 12:03 p.m. (Actual time: 30 minutes)

My estimated total time needed is 1 hour 45 minutes. We’ll see how close I get?

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Monday I wrote the original version of this post and worked on the taxes. Tuesday I worked on taxes and the day job. Wednesday I met a friend/former boss and spent the afternoon away. Today is Thursday. I need to work on the house and I had no idea what to work on? Friday I ran errands and did grocery shopping.

Wait! I have this handy-dandy system I invented, right? And I need to do the things on my list anyway, right? So…

Time spent: 10 minutes +30 minutes + 10 minutes+ 20 minutes + 7 minutes = 1 hour, 17 minutes and the Cake pan/cabinet isn’t complete, yet. + 15 minutes + 5 =

Actual time spent = 1 hour 27 minutes!

Tuesday October 29. 2019

ALPHABETICS

B – BEDROOM – Is approaching chaos, again, and needs to be picked up.

G – GARDEN – Needs raking. Raked around where people who visit us park. (10 minutes) More raking Weds. (10 minutes)

L – LAUNDRY – Is also approaching chaos, again! On Weds., I asked a neighbor for help. Gave her soap and a load of laundry and said “Could you please do these for me?” and she did, bless her! I also ran 3 loads 10/29 (45 minutes) and 2 loads 10/30. (30 minutes)

Q – RANDOM – Food needs to be used or pitched!

V – RANDOM – I made a book donation.

[x][x][x][x]||[x][x][][]|| (5 minutes uncounted)

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Other Work

LEVEL 1: Garden/paths and drives. See above!

 

90 Day Challenge: Take Away

Okay, My 90 day challenge is over. What worked? What didn’t? What did I gain from doing it? What failed?

First: I’m disappointed at how inconsistent I was. However, real life got in the way in several different ways, most notably I had 2 pieces of work, both time-sensitive, back to back.

Second: Frankly, I got tired. I was dismayed at how little impact the more directed and consistent effort had on the condition of the house.

Third: I managed to do this without panic attacks. That wasn’t my stated purpose, I said this on May 9:

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What to do?

• A writing schedule?
• More concentrated cleaning? (If the PTSD will let me.)
• More food gardening and preservation
• A research schedule?
• Some kind of at home exercise plan.

Italics added 10/5/19.

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Also, I wrote this post here about what happened to me, that is, the panic attacks I’ve always had when I cleaned regularly.

My unstated, personal goal for the effort was to get rid of the panic attacks. My idea was to habitualize the cleaning and remove the panic attacks that way.

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I came up with methodology for using the ALPHABETICS. I came up with a way to give myself credit for other work. I created lists of things which needed to be done and did NOT let myself get stressed when I didn’t get them done, or feel too excited when I did.

And it worked — really worked. These days, I can do laundry, wash dishes, pick up the living room, scrub the toilet, etc. every day, and NOT wake up in the middle of the night, heart pounding, in a sweat, & near tears!

I will go back and catch up what I can, fill in what needs it, etc.

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It’s fall. I have many seasonally-related chores to do, almost none of which I’d noted before!

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Given the date (10/5), I think I’ll use the rest of the year to do whatever I can to continue the effort, without necessarily tracking it.

Thank you for watching, if you kept up with me. Having an audience kept me honest and going more often than I care to admit!

 

Tuesday September 10, 2019

ALPHABETICS

B – BOOKS – Continue the book cull I started yesterday. There are 4 boxes in the car to go to the storage, need to double that quantity before I go to the storage! 1st complete 11:44 a.m., 2nd 12:13, 3rd 1:45 (box of culls for dump 12:13 too), 4th will have to be done tonight. I”m out of time! (1:52 pm, 3 hours)

G – GARDEN – Start fall clean up. Do whatever raking is still needed to get the ground bare, before fall.

L – GARDEN – Continue weeding and other clean up .

Q – QUALITY – Go through my clothes. What needs to be replaced or repaired? Culls?

V – RANDOM – Order wood.

[x][x][x][x]||[x][x][x][x]|| (1 hour uncounted)

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OTHER WORK

Someone is buying 2 books I uncovered yesterday. They’re in a mailer to be mailed today.

Culls: 2 books,

Used/Found a New Home: 2 book sleeves, 1 mailer

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Monday September 9, 2019

Have some items to put in the mail today. Have some reading to do to catch up for the day job. Also, of course the regular cleaning and culling!

ALPHABETICS

A – ANOTHER PIECE – Work more on the clear the counters of food project. I got the 2nd batch of jalapenos dealt with (the newer ones). Time noted on Friday’s tally because I’d used it to tally the older jalapenos. I still have stewed tomatoes to finish up, the skins to deal with and the other peppers!

F – FIND A PLACE – to put away more of the stuff I pulled out next to the bed!

K – KITCHEN CLEAN UP – The kitchen has been used a lot lately and not cleaned as throughly as it might be. The things on the floor were tidied and the floor swept. (5 minutes). The stove top and grates were cleaned (5 minutes) The counters and sink area need a general tidy and cleaning.

P – PANTRY SHELVES – Need a general tidy. The shallow shelves were done first thing this morning. (5 minutes). Still need to do the deep shelves.

U – UPSTAIRS BOOKS – I have a lot of boxes here to go through for the book sale in a couple of weeks. This is where I will count getting those boxes looked at and the culls ready to go. 3 boxes in my car of paperbacks (3.26 cu ft cleared, approx 150 books. 1 box of hardcovers, 2 hours.

Z – RANDOM – Put the sheets in the wash and then continue the under bed cleaning I started a while back. I got 25% of the space under the bed cleaned, need to make more progress on this!

[x][x][x][x]||[x][x][x][x]|| (15 minutes uncounted)

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Other Work

I got things ready to mail this morning. Counted the time on the day when I assigned that task last week. I needed address confirmations for both addresses. I added 2 books going out, so the packages will be mailed on Tuesday.

Pulled things out on my side of the bed looking for something for DH (found it in the office instead !). That generated culls (noted below), things to put away and a major onset of sniffles due to dust!

Cleaned the top of the stove.

Culls: a book, cassette, papers, many more books,

Used/Found a New Home: A mailing box, bubble wrap, most of a sheet of fancy wrapping paper, a book,a pin, a card,

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